Robin Williams says:

"Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money."

"Williams is 'the Tasmanian devil of comedy'." - Entertainment Weekly

"...And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, 'Hey, here's a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!'"

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are."

"You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand."

About Canada - "Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party."

"Comedy is acting out optimism."

"I'm looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I'm telling myself 'if you're not funny, it's a problem'" - to troops in Iraq

"If you watch it backwards, it has a plot." - about Popeye (1980)

"Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying 'I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.' The other is 'You want fries with that?'"

"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

About comic lines written by Mark Shaiman being removed for innuendo (i.e. "Chip 'n Dale are both strippers") the week before for his presenting of Best Animated Film at the 77th Academy Awards: "For a while you get mad, then you get over it. They're afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It's strange to think: how afraid are you? We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not."

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision- you either go all the way or forget it.

doesn't she know that track is the only outlet I have? Track and School. That's all I have now. She lets me practice but forbidds me to compete... I'm sorta blown away at her decision... after all, then what's the whole purpose of going to track practices if I'm not going to compete? It's fucking dumb.

Calvin:

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway. -The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes p25

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in. - Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p145

Girls are like slugs?they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what. -The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes p71

I  go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. -The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes p235

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point. -It's a Magical World p39

I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think? Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television? - The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes p94

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. -Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p55

Reality continues to ruin my life. -Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p67

Hobbes:

If you don't get a good night kiss, you get Kafka dreams. -The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes p87

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? -Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons p38

Only if I were like Calvin when I was young...Of course, I have to have Hobbes as my friend..

For more quotes visit http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bill_Watterson

well well, a job well done. It's been a very long week, and I would like to give myself some props for pulling it off. It's so comforting to know that sun rises no matter what...

The movie of the evening: The Devil's Advocate.

Lesson: You're screwed whether you do right or wrong.